Citizenship

Where shall I turn, divided to the vein?
Derek Walcott

Well, not exactly "to the vein". I became a Canadian citizen just yesterday (as opposed to being a (West Indian) permanent resident). I'm eager to find out how i will feel being a citizen and all. The euphemism they use nowadays is: your "adopted homeland"...

There's the issue of belonging: do i feel like i belong, now? Nah. When i go back "home", i don't feel like i belong either. It's not that i don't want to feel like i belong, it's just that that feeling escapes me; belonging is not easy. There is also the two-faced narrative of belonging and unbelonging to contend with: (1) Afo-Canadians (ah, the politics of the hyphen) have a long Canadian history and are, therefore, rooted here. (2) The (only) two official languages (and founding cultures) are French and English. Now, that's fucking confusing. I won't get started on the multicultural politics cuz it'll never end. There's also the acerbic feeling that i've cheated the people from 'elsewhere' who don't get a bite from the apple of firstworldness. *Sighs*, i better get use to my complicated status.