TodNotes

@ 21mths, still my "baby"?

• "Wow, beautiful dress!" --what JJ says when you dress her in anything.

• "Mommy, what you doing?" -- fave question to ask me.

• "Crackers and cheese / ice-cream-chocolate, P L E A S E"-- most frequent answer to what would you like to eat?

• "Mommy / Daddy, say 'goo-goo gaa-gaa,' say 'wow'" (or whatever word she wants to hear you say, for her amusement, of course).

• "JJ, come, Mickey Mouse!" --the only thing that will make her run to me in a haste saying, "okay!" when i need her for anything.

• "Umm, Barney and Friends, Bob the Builder..." --when asked what she wants to "do" on the computer (much wider than the TV selection).

• "Mickey Mouse!" -- her most frequent answer to what would you like to watch (on tv)?

• "Holy shit." -- a new phrase she picks-up from dad (dad now under the process of expelling that from his vocab).

• "Hi baby!" -- what she says to any kid, big or small, when seeing him / her for the first time.

• "It's mine!" -- what she says when she gets a hold of anything.

• "No." -- her answer to anything you ask her that she's not sure about (thank you, lord).

• "Fine, thank you" -- when asked how are you?

• "Quiet!" -- when someone tries to assist her in saying her ABCs / sing a song or anything else that she already knows how to say / do.

• Complete silence -- only when watching Jungle Book / Happy Feet, oh, and when sleeping.

I remember those days ----->

Umbilical

Father,

my throat is sore.
From calling you, poor
my centre weans, father
those memories lost, yester
years.

Father,

my soul cries in vain.
My calls' surrendering, pain
my heart nurses, father
those memories lost, yester
years.

Father,

i made a hole. In
the sky. That i may win
one cautious smile, father
those memories lost, yester
years.

Father,

i did make a vow.
That i may burn now
release my tears, father
those memories lost, yester
years.

Father,

i made a crack. In
heaven. That i mayn't sin
by resolve, father, to leave be
those memories lost, yester
years.--

Derrida is not for Everyone

Okay. So i had to recover from the intellectual violence of my presence in last week's seminar in contemporary theory before i could write this blog. I have ten minutes to type this so bear with me...

Last Friday, we had a guest lecturer who specializes in Derrida and Deconstruction and he came to elucidate for us, the students, the principles of Derrida's theory. Now, i read all the criticisms / materials assigned for that week, and i even laughed out loud when i stumbled upon Derrida's keen sense of humour / irony (something i've never done / was ever able to do before in theory).

I went to the seminar hoping to laugh out loud even more, but, shame on me. I must add that Dr. X did a great job clarifying the relationship between the Platonic dialogues and Derrida's theory about writing / speech and he was even animated and very enthused about the topic. The problem was this: I knew absolutely nothing about Greek myth and, for the life of me, could not begin to wrap my brain around what he was saying. Then, came the numbing pain in the back of my head as my cerebral strings tried as hard as they could to process all the "foreign intelligence." By break-time, i was more than ready to leave but too embarrassed to move. Eventually, the seminar reconvened, but my brain didn't. All his questions went over my head and into the wall behind me as i nervously struggled to maintain my composure. Near the end, my brain finally exploded and gave way to a gush of chemical goo...

When i reached home, i was darn well near depression and had to pull out my undergrad transcript just to remind myself (however corny it may sound) that i am not stupid; that i am qualified to be there, in that seminar; after all, i said to myself, i graduated in the top 3% of the University; and that ought to mean something. It's the least i could do to prevent myself from slitting my wrist.

That's what happens in THEORY. Now, i need to deconstruct how i will survive the rest of the term...

Thick Love

SHARING A KISS

SHARING A JOKE


SHARING A MOMENT

SHARING A SKETCH


SHARING A SQUEEZE

The End of the World?

It took a good dose of international news for me to realize just how ucked-up the world is right now. It has been "the last days" for as long as i can remember; and from what i've seen, God has definitely changed her mind about coming. Yea, i said HER. Ellen DeGeneres spoke with God, personally, and she confirmed God is a SHE (and a black woman at that! Shocking, isn't it?). But, really, the whole world is doing a U turn on progress...we've actually...what did Karen say in Coupland's Girlfriend in a Coma? Dissolved, yes, the world has dissolved. Natural disaster is no longer confined to earthquakes, volcanoes and the like, but has taken on new forms, in many places: war, genocide, suicide bombing, ethnic rivalry, AIDs etc. There is a shoot-out / killing-spree in progress every second of everyday all around the world; and i get to lay in bed and watch this...this unfolding of the end of humanity, on the 5 o'clock news, from the comfort of my pillow-top mattress in my bedroom (Dreams and Things). "Gosh, i hate watching the news, it ruins my whole day!" Isn't a Canadian day more precious than a middle Eastern day? "We should be glad we don't have war!" Well, uck me silly, we must be specially finger painted by the Superior One! But why watch the news when i can watch The Simpsons, or Kings of Queens, or even one of George Bush's speech on terror? Actually, i can't figure out which one is more horrifying: American powercracy or the 5 o'clock news. The news has more raw action; it's like watching "murder by the third degree."


"Honey, pass me the popcorn, i don't want to miss the next bombing."

Joys of Toddlerhood

COMPUTER ANALYST


JJ on the computer, with assistance, of course. Oh, yeah, i did the corn rows... cane rows, for West Indians, thank you :)

ENTREPRENEUR

Hmmm, smells goooooood
(JJ on New Year's day)

DIVA

Beautiful eyebrows.

ACTRESS

On the first take. That's my baby!

SUPERMODEL

I swear, this one took only three takes!

2008 and Counting...

New Year, same sh#*t.

I guess we all have to search our soul for those meanings and purposes that make life worth the short-long experience it is. I hate to start on such a low key, but the high key that i was waiting for at midnight new year's eve didn't show. I was hoping to feel different after midnight, you know, get some closure on the old year. Course, i spent the holiday with my loved ones, us, loving each other; but after the countdown and fireworks, well, let's just say it was life as usual: another stinking day on the calendar. Morgage due, tuition fee due, RA hours due, essay due, child care costs due, cell phone bill due and the list goes on. My resolution is simple: mind over matter, this year. Funny, my hobby has been living that resolution for years.