Like so many things in life, i did not choose activism, it was thrust upon me. My activism starts in my home, with my daughter, the future of this country. A few realizations, eye-openers some may say, have prompted my meditation and subsequent decision to write a message for my daughter (and any other children of colour whose parents may be reading). As soon as she is able to understand, which is probably not too far from now, i will tell her the following:
Message for my as-yet- matured daughter, living in Canada.
You are black.
You are female.
You are not the norm.
The norm is white, male, heterosexual, Christian, Eurocentric.
Before you come into this world, you are already created, positioned and defined in multiple ways through language.
Before you encounter the outside-world, your experiences are already constituted by discursive practices (in media, law, medicine, education) which see you as other, strange and tolerable.
As you venture into the world, you must always ask questions, always interrogate, always work to complicate and dislodge hegemonic truths that work to subordinate and silence you.
Always surround yourself with people who are honest and supportive; at times it will be difficult to tell the difference.
Be prepared to work twice as hard for everything and never, ever, surrender for less than your goals.
You will need a thick skin when you enter academia because people (faculty and students) will want to eat you raw.
Be brave, be strong, and remember that your ancestors have survived the journey across the Atlantic and your mother has survived another such journey.
This is not a guide for survival, only a map that points to the gaps, cracks, potholes and shows you the many detours and dead ends that shape the city.
Remember, you are black, female and beautiful, but you are not the norm.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Message for my Daughter
Posted by Jer at 4:32 PM
Labels: Parenthood, Thoughts and Theories
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3 comments:
Something in her favour: a smart, strong mother. That's priceless.
A strong message I sense she will absorb from your example.
I completely agree with Metro Mama and Lisa... she is lucky to have such an intelligent, aware, amazing mother. Obviously, I've never known what it's like to not be "white" (I put that in quotation marks because there's no such thing, really--but it seems in our society there's only "white" and "not white"), so this wasn't something I thought about until my teenage years. It made me hurt to think about the struggles that every person who s not white has to face simply because their skin pigment seems to be "other". It still makes me hurt every day, and I hate feeling so helpless about the power dynamics and the discrimination still very much in place.
Something else your blog made me really consider (I have in the past, but this just made me even more aware) is that if I have a child who is "not white" (which is currently a possibility) I will feel so inadequate and unprepared to help he or (especially) she deal with the challenges of that superfluous, unfair label. How can a white person, someone who has really never experienced discrimination of the racial variety, successfully guide someone who WILL continually experience that through life? I'm certain it's been done--I just don't know if *I'm* good enough for the task. Maybe this is a conversation for another time, though. :)
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